Friday, September 19, 2008

Cool Link: Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero Generator

So after spending some time watching the "I'm a Marvel and I'm a DC" videos on Youtube, I decided to check around the internet for other superhero-y things. I came across Lee's (Useless) Super-Hero Generator, and I decided to take a crack at it. The results were too hilarious and awesome not to share. So, with commentary:

The awesome Death Man
Power(s): Radar sense, Plant control
Source of powers: Metahuman
Weapon: Stellar Thorns
Transportation: Megacatapult

Clearly this guy was depressed about his awful powers and silly means of transportation, so he tried to overcompensate with his name. I dunno. Too much?

The adjectiveless Doc Flower
Power(s): X-ray vision, Force field generation
Source of powers: Unknown
Weapon: Silver Mace
Transportation: Commander Nag

Would be right at home here in Berkeley.

The invulnerable Gorilla Soarer
Power(s): Illusion casting, Autonomic function control
Source of powers: Soul sold to Devil
Weapon: Astral Jambiya
Transportation: Suicide Jet Pack

It's a good thing he's invulnerable, because he clearly didn't read the fine print under "Transportation" on Old Scratch's contract. I think he's going to be doing more soaring than he anticipated when he tries out that jet pack. Good thing he's got autonomic function control, or it might get embarrassing. Speaking of embarrassing...

The strange Vibro Queen
Power(s): Density control, Reinforced skeleton
Source of powers: Magic
Weapon: Flaming Neutralizer
Transportation: Brain Car

I don't really want to think about why the Vibro Queen has a reinforced skeleton.

And, rounding out the list, my personal favorite:

The enigmatic Z-monkey
Power(s): Explodes, Glows in the dark, Telekinesis
Source of powers: Genetic engineering
Weapon: Web Carbine
Transportation: Senor Forklift

I don't know where to begin. He's the enigmatic Z-monkey, he's got some of the coolest powers ever, and to top it all off, he rides around in Senor Forklift. Come on! Senor Forklift could have his own show, even!

If you want to take a crack at it, set the machine to "20", turn on "Show Adjectives," "Powers," "Source of Powers," and "Transportation," and be sure to share any good ones you find1 Bonus points if they're super-heroic!

Oh, and today was Talk Like a Pirate Day, so arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


bluefish said...

Power(s): Illusion casting
Source of powers: Chronal
Weapon: Invisi-rifle
Transportation: Sub-motorhome

Part animal, part warlock? Starts combat by casting complex illusions to confuse the enemy while turning himself invisible with his invisi-rifle and charging in to attack with his animal powers? It could work.

Power(s): Electrical generation/control, Body duplication, Super spelling
Source of powers: Ancient lore
Weapon: Silver Rapier
Transportation: Freedom Barge

Bases his abilities on those of heroes from the ballads of yore, channeling electricity through his ancient silver rapier!

Bullet Surfer
Power(s): Invulnerability, Luck
Source of powers: Unknown
Weapon: Terra Analyzer
Transportation: Masked Cart

Flings himself into battle on giant pieces of earth projected from his Terra Analyzer!

Bat Woman
Power(s): Super loud voice, Unaided outer space travel
Source of powers: Meditation
Weapon: Particle Carbine
Transportation: Power Dinosaur


Rocket Samurai
Power(s): Omniscience
Source of powers: Lycanthropy
Weapon: Prototype Doohickey
Transportation: Karate SUV

A samurai warrior who gains the ability to know everything when there's a full moon?

Radioactive Dragon
Power(s): Sound generation/control, Earthquake generation, Prehensile tail
Source of powers: Supernatural
Weapon: Electrospike
Transportation: Omega Catapult

A magical dragon that fights enemies at close range with the horn on his head and his tail, while dealing with most other enemies by creating earthquakes with his mighty roar?

Marty said...

The bombastic Mister Viking
Power(s): Probability alteration, Photographic memory, Sharp shooting
Source of powers: Genetic engineering
Weapon: Thunder Mist
Transportation: Princess Catapult

That's MISTER Viking to you!
And thunder mist? Why don't we just call it what it is? A fart. Oh, and riding around on a Princess Catapult? Sweet!