A Familiar Story, Retold

A young lad was trapped in a bubble
Which cracked and he woke on the double
He was saddened when shown
That he'd lost all he'd known
But a cute girl was worth all the trouble.

A sarcastic kid from the south pole
Had meat-eating as his main goal
But you should cut him some slack
Boomerang always came back
And his jokes were often quite droll.

A girl with loops in her hair
Kept an eye on this wacky pair
She was talented and smart
And she stole the bald kid's heart
But watch out for her withering glare

The bald kid was sought from afar
By a kid with a topknot and scar
Who said, "When that kid's a goner
I'll get back my honor."
His hair got ever more bizarre.

Following that kid out to sea
Was his uncle, wise and carefree
His love for brewed drink
Is so well-known that I think
You can guess what this last rhyme should be.

They meet a girl dressed in green
Who can be prickly and just a bit mean
She's totally blind
But she'll kick your behind.
She's cute, but lacks any hygiene.

A princess who grew up quite rich
Tried to put them in a ditch
She had a heart full of ire
And could wield lightning and fire
That said, she was a bit of a jerk.

"That last line didn't rhyme."