Thursday, July 30, 2009

On the Joys of Courting an Intelligent Lady

As it is my fortune to be courting an exceptionally intelligent young lady, I would like to take a moment to share my thoughts on the topic. Indeed, as some so-called gentlemen seem to find intelligence to be a marginal, or even undesirable, trait, I must confess that I find such an opinion caddish at best and repulsive at worse. I do not think that I can change anyone's mind, and I well know that the gentlemen (and ladies) who read this blog are of the same opinion as I, but I nevertheless would like to take a moment to expound on the virtues of an intelligent young lady.

First and foremost I would like to mention the joys of conversation. An articulate young lady with a well-modulated voice and a formidable vocabulary is a delightful partner in discussion. I have, on occasion, paused to marvel at my lady's well-spoken phrases, or to enjoy her beautiful voice and charming diction. There is a satisfaction that can only be found in using the exact right word, and that satisfaction can only be found in the company of an intelligent person.

Next I must speak of the sense of humor that intelligent young ladies possess. While any wench can chortle at a bodily noise or guffaw at a pun, it takes a woman with clarity of thought to appreciate worthwhile humor. Far more importantly, a lackwit wench might stumble to remember a basic joke, while a keen-witted lady is a constant source of original delight.

While some gentlemen might balk at the idea of a woman who corrects their mistakes, I cannot condone such cowardice. Indeed, as everyone is prone to mistakes, I have found that it is very useful to have a sharp-eyed young lady who can catch mistakes before they compound themselves. I should add that anyone who thinks that a sharp-eyed lady must also be sharp-tongued is making a dire mistake!

As we discuss these aspects, let us not forget the likelihood of an undead outbreak. I think that you will find that, when the hungry bodies of the recently deceased start to prowl, only an intelligent young lady will prove a useful ally. Though you may believe that a foolish trollop would be unappetizing to the roaming cadavers, you will soon learn that the undead are driven mad with hunger for the flesh of the living, regardless of how clever the living may be.

Insight, wisdom, and creativity accompany a keen mind and curious disposition. Any man who would pass this up for an empty-headed hussy should be pitied.

Perhaps the most egregious belief among some men on the topic of intelligent young ladies is that a woman can be either beautiful or intelligent, but never both. Anyone who would believe such utter nonsense could take the example of my lady as proof that someone can be brilliant as well as beautiful.

Before I open myself up to criticism, I should add that the reason I address gentlemen on the topic of courting ladies is that this is the area that I have experience in. I understand that my audience is diverse, so if you should find your inclinations differ from mine, I pray that you are not offended by this humble treatise.

I do not pretend to be an expert on the topic by any means, though I look forward to the opportunity to learn more about it. May you all find someone clever and charming to share your days with, and may those of you who have already found such a person never forget how fortunate you are!


bluefish said...

Those of us who have an opportunity to do so could well be content in our good fortune rather than reminding those of us who do not share in such felicity of this less than enviable position.

That being said, sir, I offer you my heartfelt congratulations and well wishes, taking joy in your good cheer.

Kawaika said...

Congratulations! A good lady is hard to come by these days.